I just realized that this is my life and I only get to live it once. So why would I let someone else make my choices for me? Or somebody tell me I have some sort of choice to make?
Me and Brian have talked about marriage a lot. We have also talked about me moving in. I really want to wait till I'm out of college for the marriage thing. When it comes to me moving in I just use it as my daydream when things get hard with my parents. Maybe I'm leading him on. As you know Brian is 7 years older than me, so he's ready for all of that stuff... well I'm not.
Is it really possible that I could of met my soul mate at 18? That's what gets me I'm still young. Of course when we are completely happy with each other I'm ready and excited to snatch him up but in reality it scares me to death. Time has been getting hard with my parents at home and like I said before yeah sometimes it really is a daydream to move out. If I did though I would lose the relationship I have with my parents so if anything ever happened bad with me and Brian I would be screwed. I'm a full time college student and the job I do have no one could live off.
I started to feel stuck. Like I had some kind of choice to make. You know what? I don't, this is my life and if it takes me a thousand years to feel comfortable with the idea of marriage so be it, this is my life and I'm going to take it at the speed that I want to.
I think it's great that you realized that you should live life for you. We're the same age, so, I myself, couldn't imagine doing all that stuff. Think about it, I feel as though 18 is still within that stage where your lost and still trying to figure some stuff out. Oh, one more thing. Your post helped remind me to live my life however I'd like to. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteTake your time hun. If he loves you and I know he does, he'll be patient and wait. Your correct, don't let anyone make decisions for you or push you. TAKE YOUR TIME. So when its all said and done you won't feel like you made a mistake or did it for the wrong reasons.
ReplyDeleteTake your time sweetie! You are so young and have so much potential. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Don't rush anything! Trust me, I learned the hard way as you know! I love you girl! I think you should just move in with me.. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm very familiar with the feeling that you want to get out of the situation which in you are, but it's not possible or it is very difficult. Yes it feels tough but don't do anything that will also make you feel insecure or bad just to get out of the tricky situation that you're having now...Just take your time and you'll see that everything will work out somehow :) You have to do what's best for you !!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as someone older who could sympathize with both sides of the relationship, you should always talk about how you feel with the person you're with. By the way you talk about Brian, it seems like he loves you and would want to know how you feel - plus I'm sure he'd be ok with waiting until you're more ready or sure of such a big move. You're young and even though after we become teenagers, we think we have it all figured out, we don't. I'm 25 and barely had my bf move in with me and I'm still not ready for marriage or kids yet, but we talk about things and are on the same page. You should never do something like that until you're completely sure and know its what you want. Don't let anyone tell you different. Plus as soon as you're done with school you'll have plenty of money to try living alone first or at least know that if something happens to break up the relationship, you'll be able to take care of yourself. If you talk things out and you realize you're both at different phases of your life and want different things right now then sometimes it's better to know and go your separate ways then to cling to something that isn't right for either of you. Only you and your boyfriend know what is right for you and getting things out in the open usually makes you feel a ton better also. :)
ReplyDelete