My minor issue.

I love my boyfriend don't misunderstand me. We've been dating a long time and I'm happy. This post is going to make me come off rude and stuck up but what I write is normally stuff I'll think but never say or act on. One thing I love about my relationship is that the honey mood always comes back. You know some relationships where of course its the honey moon stage in the beginning but then it just dies and then not to far after so does the relationship. Well the honeymoon stage for us has never died, if we ever get into a bad fight whenever we make up we are back to being completely in love with each other. That's not my issue. There is this book called The Five Love Languages. Its a great book for marriage, relationships everything. Its basically everyone has a love tank but how we get our love tank full is different for everyone. For instance the five love languages are how you receive love they are gifts, touch, act of service, words of affirmation, and quality time. Here's where I look bad haha my love language is words of affirmation. I'm a neeeeeeedy little thing when it comes to being told I love you or I'm beautiful. Its how I know he loves me. He can do all this stuff for me but it wont mean as much as him saying you look great today baby.Well I realized that we were raised in very different homes I come from a very affectionate family that we say I love you when we are about to get off the phone and  him and his family are the complete opposite so its kind of hard to get him to be affectionate with words. With my relationships in high school I felt special whoever I was dating always told my how beautiful I was and basically made it known how happy they were to be with me. My boyfriend now I actually fell like I'm not special at all that he could just be as happy with any other girl. I use to feel like I was something to brag about or be proud of now not even close. While I've beenin this relationship I have noticed that my self esteem has gone down a lot. I start to think well I guess I'm not as pretty because yeah I have gained a few pounds so maybe that's it, but really its just because I don't get any verbal feedback from him. I don't want you to think he's some horrible rude guy. He's great he does a lot for me and stuff but like I said he doesn't fulfill the way that I perceive love, and I have talked to him about it you know just remind me how you feel about me about us anything make it up do something but just nothing. I just want to feel like I'm worth something to him not just be expected to know what he thinks and feels all the time.

Today was my grandpa's 89th birthday! woohooo

We went down to San Antonio to visit my grandpa for his birthday. It was such a great day. There are not enough occasions in the year to get the whole family together so today was really nice. This man isn't even my blood grandpa, but out of all of my grandfathers he treats me the best. We have a really close relationship , he's such a great man. He served in World War II and thats a dying breed. Don't laugh at me but for his birthday I got him a card and cucumbers... haha it was more of a gag gift but he loved it. When we first moved back to Texas and my grandpa came up to our house he brought me a gift. He brought me cucumbers lol. We washed them and ate them right then and there. I was probably 7 at the time and I loved vegetables probably more than most kids at the time but I thought it was funny to do the same for him. I really enjoyed today I wish I could spend more time with him its just hard especially now with college. He's one of those people that your blessed to just have him in your life <3

Study Group

You know the problems with study groups. Having to make plans with a lot of people to hopefully meet at one place at the exact same time. I feel like I'm the coordinator because everyone gave me their numbers. So I texted everyone yesterday about meeting up today at thee at Hastings to study together. On Wednesday this was the best idea to them ever now no one has even texted me back... I'm kind of mad because I really need it but they do too I've seen their test scores. I'm actually considering dropping this class, because I just see no way of me passing. I have not passed one test yet and I don't want my GPA to go down because of one stupid HARD class.  I don't know what I'm going to do but I think I've come up with some good ideas to study just for my self. Quizzlet.com is basically online note cards, you fill them out. It helps you memorize things because it makes games out of things and stuff. It helped me out a lot in my phlebotomy class so maybe it will work for biology too. Wish me luck!

Thursday is over!

I love college just because my Thursdays are now my Fridays :) but other than that I kind of hate it. I feel like I wasn't prepared at all for it. I mean I thought college was suppose to be easy and its actually really kicking my butt. For instance Psychology Life span and development. It never fails that every time I think I did really good on a test I failed...and every time I think I failed I get like an A. It's stressing me out. I've actually considered dropping my biology classes just because everyone is failing. I think the problem is that nothing is made to be understood. Every simple thing is built up to be so complicated no one can even get their head wrapped around it. What else happened today hmmm okay I have an issue so I've mentioned before that my boyfriend has gotten his own house. Before he had roommates like 4 of them so me going over there was no problem for my parents.Well I'm nervous that now that he is going to have his own place I'm not going to be able to go to his house anymore. Which is weird because I am 18 years old technically I can do what ever I want. Should I be allowed to go to my boyfriends house? I'm so use to being on such a short leash with my parents that growing up is kind of hard. I guess I go back to thinking about if I had decided to leave the house and go to a college not near my home.They wouldn't be able to tell me my every move. I feel like that in this point of my life they need to just hope they raised me right so I make the right decisions and start letting go. I don't even have a curfew I just have to tell them everything I'm doing at all times and then come straight home. Is it just me or does it sound a little harsh?

Great news

My dad has had a cancer scare for going on 2 months now. It's put a lot of stress on our family. You know how men get when they are worried about something but dont want to show it. They just start acting different? Well thats what happened. It was sad watching my parents just worry. Well today we finally got the results of my dads biopsy and everything was negative! My dad does not have cancer! Thank God :) I was so happy to find out the news I know my dad did not sleep at all last night but I know all of us will be sleeping a lot easier from now on. Today I surprised him at work to take him to lunch. I'm so happy about how things turned out. I could not imagine what life would be like with out my dad.

Furniture shopping!

My boyfriend bought a new house. Today we went furniture shopping after I got out of class. We had a lot of fun. He found a great bed and a sofa with the love seat 2 end tables and a table/ ottoman for a great price. We got a lot done today. I love spending time with him and it was fun because every furniture store we went to they all thought we were married. So I got to play the part for a little bit. I can not wait til we actually live together. He actually wants me to move in already and start our life together but I still think I'm to young but I guess you never know what could happen, I am very tempted. I love that boy so much! After we finished shopping we went to go get some sushi. It was delicious. I had a very nice evening today <3

Amazing Weekend in Fort Worth

The last blog I talked about the trip going to Fort Worth on Friday. Now let me tell you how the whole weekend went :)
Friday evening me Brian and his mom went to meet up with his sister and her family. We were going to eat at a BBQ restaurant but they were all out of potatoes and that's all his sister was going to eat so instead we went to the Mexican Inn next door. The food was not good at all it was as American as Mexican food could possibly get and there were only 10 items to choose from. Other than that his sister was really nice and her husband and son. Kind of quirky but all together good people. After we finished eating Brian had purchased tickets to go to a comedy club for 10:00. It was called Four Day Weekend, and its basically just improv.

The show was really good it was funny but by the end of it I could of KILLED my boyfriend! Me and his mom made it very clear that we did not want to go on stage. He knew a trick that had to do with the lights. Basically don't sit where a spotlight was on the area. We sat down and we were enjoying ourselves, I saw a light pointed my way but I though he wouldn't do that to me. Well guess who was the first one to get called on stage. This GIRL. I was shaking and so nervous the scene was basically we were doing and episode of cops. I had to pretend like I was on a ride along and then we had to get out and run and all sorts of crazy things. It was funny because he asked who i was there with and I said my boyfriend. Then he asked what he did (for a living) and I was like "uhhhh......... something complicated" then the guy went on rambling how that's the second question you ask someone when trying to get to know someone. He was just making fun of me. So then he calls into the audience and asked my boyfriend what he did and my boyfriend told him his title. Then the guy looks at me and says " that is freaking complicated". Haha you have to remember it was in front of a large group of people. After I got off stage I really enjoyed the rest of the show it had me laughing the whole time.

                                         

                                         

On Saturday, We went to the Texas state fair! It was a lot of fun. 

It was huge there was just so much to do and look at. This is the fair that comes up with something new to fry every year. YUCK. This years was fried salsa. It looked very weird like a read ball that you dipped in cheese. That's just plain wrong but we did try fried watermelon!

That has to have been the nastiest thing I have ever eaten. Its mushy and you couldn't even taste the watermelon at all. Like I said this place was huge they had shows we saw a dog show and a bird show. The bird show was my favorite they had a lot of unique birds that I have never even heard of before. They called people from the audience to help it was just really cool to see. The state fair had its own huge carnival there and a whole bunch games. The vendors were cool too even though i expected a lot more. There was more food places than anything. Anything you could possibly think of they had fried, pickles, beer, peach cobbler, smores everything. I cant even imagine how they fried some of the stuff.

My favorite part was when we went on this huge skyline over the entire area.

You can see what the cart looked liked how how far up we were.

Another view about how big this place was. What your seeing doesn't even show the crowded area.
Some other cool thing we saw were:

This guy played up to 12 instruments at once he put on a very good show.

I found this interesting because this was completely made out of butter! The little boy had a whole cow behind him and they were about to walk through a gate. That's a lot of butter.

The Ferris wheel had to be my favorite part. I have never seen one this big before. It was huge. I wish we had a chance to go on but the line was about a three hour wait.

Then this guy was named Big Tex and he's wearing the biggest pair of Dickie's ever made.  

I had a great time at the fair. After we went back to his parents and his daddy made us some steaks. They were delicious and for desert his mom made a lemon ice box pie. That was the best pie I have ever tasted in my life. Maybe one day she Will give me her recipe.

Sunday we went to the church he grew up in and it was massive. During worship I felt like I was at a concert. I really enjoyed it and afterwards we went to this thing called Traders Village and its basically a giant flea market. We were there for a couple of hours and we probably didn't even get through 1/3 of it. Just to walk through everything was a good amount of miles. They sold everything you could possibly think of and all the prices you were suppose to bargain for. I bought 3 pineapples for 5 dollars, and you know those are expensive in the stores! I mean everything though I saw snakes and animals, portraits, furniture things for your car. Everything and all good prices. Then we left and started to head back home. Vacation time was over but we had such a great time!

Road trip!

I'm just so cranky! I was so excited for this weekend and I still am but this drive is taking forever. We really did leave at the worst time because we are hitting all of the major cities at rush hour. I feel bad because I don't even feel like talking most of the time our car rides are so much fun but honestly I could pass out right now! I think we have two more hours and then we will be at Brians parents house. Instead of me meeting his sister on sunday I'm going to meet her tonight. I wish I took more time on looking good this morning. I hate when people change plans on me but it is hard to keep a whole family on the same page. I think this drive would go better if there was stuff to look at but it's just road looooonnnnngggg road then traffic and more long road! On top of that my RLS (restless leg syndrome) is acting up. It makes sitting still torture.

1 More Day

I am so excited because tomorrow me and Brian are going down to Fort Worth to spend time with his family. Yup I feel some wings growing my parents are actually going to let me spend two nights with him. Well at his parents house if that even counts for anything, it does for me. We are going up there Friday then we are just going to hangout a bit. Then Saturday we are going to the Texas state fair. Which I'm really looking forward to because its suppose to be HUGE. I mean its an all day thing. I love stuff like that the carnival and the vendors and this is the place that comes up with something different to fry each year. I think this years fried food is fried butter.... that does not sound good at all. I feel like just talking about it my thighs have gotten a little bigger. His mom is really looking forward to going and I'm excited to see her again.

The first time I met his parents wasn't to long ago. I was really nervous but everything turned out great. So great that after we left the next day his dad called him and told Brian that I'm a keeper and not to mess this up and his mom emailed him basically the same exact thing :) I'm very happy that his parents like me and I really enjoy them too.

On Sunday I am going to Brian's home church to meet all of his friends that he grew up with then I'm going to have lunch with his family and his sister that I've never met before. I'm so excited to get this weekend started it is going to be great!

Daddy's little girl

My dad is a great dad. The best dad i could ever ask for. He's not my real father but he's always been there. My real father is nothing to brag about and I'm not coming from the perspective of a girl with daddy issuse I'm just telling it how it is. So basicall  have the worst dad someone could havethat if i probably lived with I'd be a pregnant droped out of highschool druggy and then i have a great dad that keeps me in my place wants the best out of life for me and is suuuuppppppeeeeerrrrr protective. To tell you the truth its never even bothered me before because thats how i was raised even now that I'm 18 i still dont have a curfew. My parents have to know who what when where and how and whenever thats done thats when i have to come home. There is no just going out because i want to everything has a time and a reason, but like i said I'm use to it and to somepeople thats just weird.  Like Brian. My dad says he doesnt have a problem with my boyfriend but he changes whenever he's around and it's put a big toll on our relationship. A couple weeks ago I invited Brian over fo bbq. Everything was going great. There is a place out where I live called Maxdell bridge. it's this old bridge that is suppose to be haunted. Well Brian never been and I wanted to take him. I told my parents and they didnt give me a time rame and I didnt give them a time frame. It was just going to be one of those spur of the moment types of thing. Well we werent even there for probably 30 minutes and we were on our way home. There is this really cool old cemetary out there thats why we took longer. As I'm getting close to my house I see my dads truck coming out of the drive way , he was going to hunt me down. He said he called me and noone answered. Which I would understand if He triedcalling me again and called Brian because he did ask for Brians number for situations like that and also HE HAS A TRACKER ON MY PHONE. When I got inside the house he goes nuts. Just scolding me infront of my boyfriend like I was 5 years old. The point of this story is whenever Brian comes around my dad has to show whos boss he changes. Its gotten to the point that Brian doesnt even want to come around not because he doesnt like my dad but because my dad changes how he treats me infront of Brian. It's hard me and my mom have talked about it and we think its because when he grew up he had his family with his mom and dad. It was him and 5 way older sisters. Well when his mom died his dad took him and got remarried and had 4 other brothers from his new stepmom. He just never fit in. Even seeing how his family is now there is just something missing. So we think he's so protective of the family he has because we are the only family he has and he doesnt want to lose us. Which i understand I love my dad to death but at some point he is going to have to let me grow up.

It's been a while.

I haven't posted anything a while because I've been so busy. School is getting hectic. College is not a joke it's a serious thing. Today I take my final for nursing and I'm nervous because I have to do good but I'm excited because it's one less class I have to worry about. I will be happy when three o clock comes and goes and I have my test score and I'm done. My classes have gotten a lot harder. Psychology I still enjoy engllish is pretty tough but biology. Biology can just possibly be the death of me.  Photosynthesis is probably the easiest topic in biology. My teacher was talking about it for a good 50 minutes and I didn't even know the man was talking about photosythesis. It's pretty bad when the smart kids in the class fails every test with a 60. What am I suppose to do? Lord give me strength . I just don't know what I am going to do. I think a good idea would be to make a study group I'm going to try to do that before the next test.  I've been busy lately but just with school. Nothing exciting that's worth sharing.

This weeeeekend.

I'm late I know but I've been busy. This weekend started out a disaster but ender good I guess. Before we even left to S.A i came downstairs with my bag all ready to go and my mom turns to look at my dad and says are you gonna let her wear that? Like rude if you ever met my mom you'd understand. I was like you know i'm in the room right? I mean its not like it was skin tight and my breast were hanging out it was a bigger flowy shirt and i had an undershirt on to cover the girls up. It gets better I go to my moms bathroom to use some perfume and she says " Whats wrong with your hair" again rudely mann that was just not my morning at all. We get on the road and we start regretting going like always and its the chihuahuas fault of course. Once we got to esthers things got better. I missed them so much! My uncle Keith is like my secound dad. We all went to sonic before we went to the fair because we had daisey with us. The fair I'm talking about is actually a churchs fall festival. This year compared to last year wasnt busy at all.It was just really fun to get everyone together. My cousin raymond ended up coming with his girlfriend and that was really cool I barely see them. I love how she goes everywhere with him I really wish me and Brian could be like that my dads so weird though its safer for him to keep space. Especially if i want a boyfriend still lol. I had a great time after all. It never got awkward the weather was perfect and we all had a lot of fun. Here's some pictures i took my mom made all the jewelry and my aunts the quilter.