New Me!



I'm fighting with my boyfriend over something stupid and I cant even fight back. I'm crying but I'm not hurt. I'm upset but I'm at peace with myself. I was stressed but now I'm calm. Through the bad in this situation I'm stronger. I feel great. This mindless fight that had me with tissues everywhere and make up down my face. I needed that. The fight wasnt that bad but I needed that release. I feel new, I feel fresh I could dance I could sing I can shout out because its a new me. I feel beautiful, I feel special, things I havent felt for a while I'm feeling on my own. I dont need his compliments I discovered them on my own.

This is my new outlook. I am me. There is nothing I can do to become perfect, but I am going to try my hardest. I'm am going to be a better Christian and be a Bible Chrisitan. I've been living in this world. Everything the world wants you to see thats right but is wrong. I'm going to live by what is actually right. I feel great I feel like closing my eyes looking up at the sun and taking a deep breathe in.

Perfect day!

My aunt and uncle are visiting from San Antonio. Whenever they come up we go to a little town called Salado. Its just a cute little town full of Antique stores and craft places its just really cute . The whole town is basically one main street and normally they have something going on like the first weekend of every month is full of vendors, you really just never know what you are going to find. Before my ain't and uncle came up and we knew we were going to Salado me and my mom talked about Brian going. Yesterday we mentioned it to my dad and he just lost it which doesn't make sense at all. He gets jealous or worried or something but it's strange and I have never met another person like that. So it was difficult.

The other day Brian asks me why he never gets invited to stuff I do with my family because his family when they get together they just automatically expect me to go, I don't even need an invitation. I really think its because of the age difference but it's also because of my dad. I wish I could explain him better but I just can't put him into words. Anyways I stood my ground I mean my dad has to get use to him being around eventually . Let me tell you about my day:) we got up early this morning and went out o breakfast I originally didn't invite Brian because of how my dad was acting but my dad told me to invite him to breakfast. That was a plus. Breakfast was good my uncle is a very quirky person and he's the type that will embarrass people. Everyone got along really good .My uncle tried to embarrass Brian by making him pray but Brian just did it and he prayed very good. After breakfast we went to Salado. It was fun going through all the little store with him at one point we went to a place called B. Herd. It was this little old man that did oil paintings. They were gorgeous they looked like actual pictures. All of his paintings were from actual places in Texas. Brian bought three of them and they were all from the hill country. After we were all done shopping I thought Brian was just going to to go home but my dad actually invited him back to the house. I started a pot roast that morning so my dad invited him to come eat with us. I had a blast just hanging out with everyone. The food was delicious and the company was great. After we ate Brian offered to take me to work. I ended up seeing him all day. What a great day it was.
I started writing this post on Friday and I just finished, I've been very busy lately I'll tell you more about that later!

Busy busy busy!

I wish I wasnt such a procrastinator because school work and projects are catching up with me.I have my observations due for psychology next week. Basically I have to watch people and figure out stuff about them. Like hearing, vision, gross motor skills and other stuff but I cant use my opinion. So instead of saying the subject can hear good I have to say when the subjects name was called he responded automatically. I had a test today which I think I did great on a test to study for next week and an essay due .

What else has happened this week hmm. Yesterday I went to church and that's where I did my observations. The service was about prayer and how to pray. I can pray by myself at night like the words just flow out but when I had to go on stage for the prayer line I completely froze. A little girl came up to me and her request was to pray for her dad to start attending church. My prayer sounded horrible it was choppy I'm just not use to praying for people. Instead of beating myself up I just want to learn, I want God to help me be able to pray for people so I can be better in my church. Looking back now I wish I could try again.

On Tuesday I got my iPhone and I love it! I had to wait a whole week for it because sprint ran out but now that I have it, it was well worth it. My week has been full of studying not really anything to exciting I guess that's why it is so hard to write this Post right now :) I hope everyone is having a great week and Happy Veterans Day ahead of time!

What a Jerk

I'm kind of upset at the moment. I feel very depressed I don't know if I'm pmsing or what but I just feel so down in the dumps. Anyways so you know Brian has been gone and we haven't hung out in a while. Well today I thought we could have dinner you know something. I made an effort to see him. He invited me over to cook for me which was really nice but I know I have mentioned before that my parents have letting go issues. Not my mom but my dad does. So now that my boyfriend is living by himself I just didn't feel like getting into it with my dad just to go see him. Thats why I wanted to do dinner, but no to Brian that was just the end of the world. Talking about how I let my dad ruin my life and all this other stuff. Being really rude. You know what he just moved into that house he couldn't even give me a break to talk to my parents it had to be then and there. I still don't get the big idea of why I had to go over there so bad. I really believe he just didn't want to let go of the topic of my controlling dad. I will deal with that at my own time and he shouldn't be pressuring me the way he did.I finally just said if that was the only way I'm going to see you then I don't want to see you. He complained how much he missed me and all of that crap this whole weekend but the moment he had a chance to see me  he didn't even take it. He chose to be stubborn about the situation. I'm so mad I hate when he gets stuck on a subject there is no getting him out of it. I would like someone that would rather take the chance to see me then argue about it. He stresses me out I'm already in a down mood and now I'm just mad. Ever since he left I don't feel like talking to him or seeing him. I could care less. I think its this mood I'm in but I'm not being rude or mean to him, I just don't have anything to say to him. So me making the effort to see him today to make myself feel better about us took a lot and he just threw it out the window. Guys are so complicated sometimes. I could really just scream at him but for now I'm taking the distance I so definitely need until I'm out of this mood. Don't you think he should of chosen to see me instead of fight about me coming over?

Work.

In case you didn't know I work at a nursery at my church. I love it I love taking care of the infants and watching them grow. It keeps me from having one of my own right now. Today work was really easy because no babies showed up. I think its because this weekend was the women's retreat and they came back today so everyone probably was just at home spending time with the family. Me and the teenagers that help me were just sitting around waiting for the babies to show up. While we were waiting in the nursery Mrs.Ivette came in with a special needs boy. This little boy had half of down syndrome and then something else. He was such a blessing though he knew sign language so it was cool seeing how he communicated with Mrs. Ivette. The way his face lit up when he was going from toy to toy was priceless. He was such a cute little boy and it really opened up my heart to be in his presence.

The Law

Yesterday after a full day of shopping we went home. Then me and my mom decided we didn't have enough shopping so we decided to go back out for round two! So we are leaving the neighborhood and get on the highway. The speed limit is 70mph. First off you need to know my mom is one of those people that go 5 miles under the whole time and since she does this I'm always looking at the speedometer because she makes me mad. So I see her get to 70 then put it on cruse control and I was like okay she's doing good. Then we see a cop going to opposite way and I see my mom slow down and reset the cruse control onto 65. We pass a cop that was on the shoulder on the road we were in and of course my mom gets in the other lane out of courtesy. Well the cop gets behind us and turns on his lights and pulls us over. Which I was completely shocked. He comes up and of course " do you know why you got pulled over today", No we didn't and then he told us that we were going 82!! Like I said before I was actually watching the speedometer it never went above 70! I was so mad but of course me and my mom were in tears and when he leaves to go check her record she just starts praying and praying man she was praying a thousand miles per hour. Then he comes back and says whats wrong? my mom said you scare us.The cop was like you have never even gotten a citation, he then said " you two shouldn't be scared of the police we are the good guys, have a nice day". He didn't even give us a warning. That was a blessing . It makes me wonder though if he did give us a ticket that would of been so wrong. You cant fight stuff like that so I don't understand but Thank God it didn't work out that way.

My yummy pot roast!

I wish I took a picture even though that might be weird for someone to see my blog and all you see is a huge pot roast. Anyways it turned out really good. I'm excited I told Brian there might be hope for me being a good wife! I'm in my I really want to learn how to cook phase and for once everything I've made has turned out good. So far its been tortilla soup (yummmm) and this pot roast I also made arroz con leche the other day and it was great but that's cheating because I've made it before. One of Brains friends (he's actually from Mexico so he can cook good) said that if I'm not cooking by now that I'm never going to start. Maybe theres hope for me yet!

I miss Brian a lot I've been so busy with school that we really don't see each other during the week anymore so now that he's gone for the whole weekend it kind of sucks. At least he's safe and coming back tomorrow.

Today I went shopping. I love TJ max I'm not even going to lie. I always find some great stuff for great prices. I got a lot of shirts/sweaters for winter and some really cute heels. We went to eat at souper salads which was great finally something healthy. Then we took my mom to the bead store to get her fix. The bead store is in this little town that's basically one main street. It's so cute and the first weekend of every month they have an area where a bunch of vendors get together. I love that type of thing because you never know what you are going to find. I bought Brian a really nice picture that was in a homemade frame. It was country and would really fit his personality. I'm excited to give it so him. Today was really great just so relaxing. Now I'm all snuggled up watching movies.